I never feel more stupid than when I go to raise or lower the window blinds in my own house. There’s this long chain made of small metal balls and it loops around the roller at the top of the window. As such, it presents with me with two lengths of chain to select from; one in front and another behind it. It’s simple enough to work out; pulling down on one results in the lowering and raising of the aforementioned window blind. A basic mechanism. Or so you’d think.
I mean, outside of the obvious “hey this is your own home we’re talking about, and after close to a year of living there, you should’ve committed stuff like this to sheer muscle memory”, it’s still a fifty-fifty split right? If I scale this across the sample size of times that I’ve gone to raise or lower the blinds, it stands to reason that I should be getting it right on the first go at least half the time. But no…it overwhelmingly feels like I choose the wrong chain first. Without fail. Every. Single. Time.
And let’s not forget about the shame that comes afterwards. If the blinds are already lowered, and my intention is to raise them, then I hear the clanging and rattling of the blinds hitting the floor or anything else in its way, followed by me quickly picking up anything that’s been knocked over, correcting my mistake by raising the blinds, and slinking back to what I was doing, hoping my wife hasn’t seen my stupidity and decided that she’d be better off with a man who can be trusted to navigate the complexity of window blinds on the first go.
If I’m trying to lower them, and they happen to be already raised, then my incorrect decision on the ball chain results in even more work; the entire blind is flipped OVER the roller mechanism at the top of the window, tangling the entire blind and ball chain together in one swift motion. I then need to find something to stand on to reach the damn thing, untangle the tangle, and give it another go. Shameful.
And what‘s even more ridiculous is that prior to pulling on whichever chain I’ve set my heart on, I approach it with unyielding confidence. I believe with every fibre of my being that I’ve made the right choice and my every intention is commit to it with a strong tug down. So imagine my shock when my expected outcome is not my reality.
My decision on which chain to pull is a gut decision. As so is the confidence associated with that decision. I don’t call on any evidence to conclude one is better than the other, nor do I conduct any research prior to acting upon said decision. My dwindling confidence in this gut feeling has forced me to re-evaluate how I make them to begin with, and as such, I introduce the concept of the ‘gut check’.
I started thinking about this after re-watching a YouTube video that a good friend of mine uploaded a while back (you can watch it here - also consider subscribing, she uploads some good stuff from time to time) where she discusses how this gut check extends beyond a basic evaluation of someone’s resolve, but is a good indicator of their motivations, their values and also a validation of the decisions they’ve made along their individual journey.
Simply put, if I can get something as seemingly simple as the window blind ball chain thing wrong, what else have I gotten wrong?
I used to think I was right. I was supremely confident that whatever decision I made, and when presented with a less than optimal outcome, I’d reason that my initial move had still been the right one at the time, it just so happened that variables and factors outside of my control had shifted mid-process without my knowledge, affecting the end result.
What I’m learning is that more and more self-reflection is required. It’s no longer good enough to act first and think later. Think, research, validate, then act, then wait and see.
